Can you believe it? My
second Fourth of July spent here. The
hell.So.
A long time ago - on Earth - there was this country, England, who was amassing a huge empire. They had people ruling and regulating in every part of the globe. For a while, that was cool, and everyone drank tea and crumpets and crap.
But then one day the people in what would be America said, "you know, the British - er, the English -
same thing - they're kinda being assholes to us. They don't help us a lot 'cause they're really far away, and they take all our money, and we don't get a say in decisions about our territories."
So a bunch of cool old guys got together and decided that they were gonna screw England over and wrote a Declaration of Independence. And then they had to go to war, since England was all "oh no you didn't", but they were free and that was awesome.
So every Fourth of July, we recognize Americans' propensity to exploding things by shooting off fireworks. Or, if you're an American stranded in Discedo, by lighting a bonfire. It's the closest I can get.
Who's with me?!